The Inspector
by RoyxRizaFan
Summary: When Inspector Leverrier comes to the Black Order, Lenalee has to deal with her lifetime fear of him once again. With the help of Lavi, she may just be able to push her terror away. LavixLenalee
1. Hiding

I knew he was there

1. I knew he was there. I knew he was just around the corner, waiting, with his snakelike eyes scanning the halls for me, trying to find the next way to torment me. This time, I wouldn't give him the chance. I ran as fast as I could on my weak legs without making a sound in the opposite direction.

Ever since I first met Leverrier, he had been an object of fear for me, and no matter how long ago it was, that fear was going to stick with me forever. Why, just the other day in my brother's office, just one glance in my direction and I was already shaking. Luckily, my older brother had had Reever get me out of there immediately, but they wouldn't always be around to help. Someday, I was going to be alone, and he would start talking to me – maybe asking more questions about Allen – and I would have no choice but to stand there, with him, and talk, praying that someone would come down the hall and say that they needed one of us.

I had my escapes from him, of course. My room was always a safe Haden, and so was Kanda. I couldn't stay locked in my room all day, though, and eventually Kanda would get aggravated with me hanging around and tell me to suck it up and stop hiding.

I could hear him behind me as I scurried off, calling out to someone else they had seen roaming the halls. As much as I felt bad for whoever it was, I also felt relief to have a chance to run back to my room. It was getting late, anyway.

I dashed into my room, slamming my door behind me. I leaned against it until I sank to the floor, trying to even my breathing. One person shouldn't have so much control over me. This was something I knew to be true, but somehow it didn't change the fact that my childhood scars would be with me forever.

_He can't do anything to you now_, I promised myself, _back then, I was alone. Now I have my brother and all my friends. He can't do anything…can he?_

Of course I'm wasn't alone, but Leverrier had a lot of power over everyone in the Order. Even if they wanted to, no one could stop him, really. They could keep breaking up conversations and sneaking me out of rooms, but that would only go so far. I shuddered once more and went to my bed, slipping under the covers without bothering to undress. I held my legs tightly to my chest, squinting my eyes, trying to block out the images of him that I couldn't get of my head. His haunting glare, that long smirk, the dark, hovering shadow…it was all engrained in my mind, with no way to get it out. Sleep was useless, because I knew the moment I drifted off, I would probably be enveloped in nightmares of him. My hands slinked away from my legs and up to my short, choppy hair. I held my head, trying to push out the images of Leverrier so that I could have a dreamless sleep for once.

I came to the conclusion that thinking of good times would make me feel a little better. The things in my life that made me willing to keep moving on, no matter what happened. I thought back to our most recent mission to find General Cross. There weren't many good things to look back at there. I had lost my Innocence and been a burden to all of my friends. Scanning further into my memory, I found my success in beating a level 3 akuma. That was something to be proud of, but I had lost my hair, my Innocence, and our ship crew, including Miss Anita, a very kind and dear woman how had lent me her hair band.

Maybe the events at the Rewinding Town were something to be happy about. Things weren't as bad back then, were they? I had become close to the new exorcist, Allen, and helped out Miranda Lotto. Now she was an exorcist, too, with a great power over time. There. Something to be proud of. It wasn't enough to save me from my dreadful fear of Leverrier, though.

I tried to remember when my brother had first entered the Order. That was a happy memory. I tried to concentrate on that, but it just reminded me of _why _he had joined the Order – for me, because I was struggling due to Leverrier and the others. I cringed, sitting up in my bed. If _that _memory couldn't comfort me, nothing could.

Standing up, I slipped into my shoes and headed to the door. Hopefully he wouldn't be out there any more. It was too late for him to be wandering around, anyway. I would go on a walk, and maybe meet up with someone in the halls.

It was almost completely dark other than the dim moonlight slipping in by the windows. Black clouds crowded the sky, hiding the stars. I stared out the window, wishing I were somewhere other than here, with the threat of Leverrier hanging at every corner. I felt a familiar sting of pain in my chest, and soon enough tears were spilling down my cheeks. They were tears of longing for a place to hide and of fear for what could happen with him here. Wiping my cheeks with my sleeve, I wished I wasn't the weakest exorcist. Every time something went wrong, I was the first to cry. I never gave anyone else a chance to get sad because, the great friends they were, they were too busy trying to make me feel better. I wish that I could have the chance to comfort one of them for once. I wanted to be there for one of them instead of the other way around. But in this condition, I knew it was impossible. I was far too weak, not only emotionally, but physically, too. I was healing from my battle still.

Footsteps in the hall made me jump violently. I spun around, fright gleaming in my eyes. I let out a sigh of relief as I saw Allen and Lavi walking down the hall towards me.

"What are you doing up so late, Lenalee?" Allen asked, his large, innocent eyes glancing over at me.

"I could ask you the same thing," I laughed, trying to keep my voice solid.

Lavi elbowed Allen. "_This _nut was _hungry_, so we went to find some leftovers. I was awake, so I figured, what the hell?"

It pained me a little, but I smiled over at the boys. "I should have guessed."

More footsteps came, and I spun around in the other direction, the same terror growing inside of me. At least I wasn't alone this time…

Two finders walked by, whispering lightly as they headed back to their rooms. I let out another sigh, leaning against the wall, trying to find strength in my legs again.

Lavi looked at me, curiously gleaming in his green eye. "You seem a little…I don't know…_jumpy_."

"Are you hungry?" Allen asked. "When I'm hungry, I can get jumpy, too!"

"You're always hungry!" Lavi pointed out. He was smiling, but somehow, there still seemed to be worry in his eye as he looked over at me.

I smiled reassuringly at them – or at least I tried to. "Don't worry about me. I was just having trouble sleeping, so I decided to take a walk. I must be jumpy from being overtired!"

He wasn't buying it.

Neither of them was, apparently. "It's got to be hunger, Lenalee, that's keeping you up! Even if it isn't, I always find that large helpings of various vegetables can get you to sleep quickly!"

I wanted to laugh, Allen could be so silly sometimes, but I couldn't. I didn't bother forcing myself too, because I knew it would blow my cover.

Lavi raised an eyebrow. "Leverrier?"

I gasped, whispering, "Where? Is he watching me?"

Lavi exchanged a look with Allen before turning back to me. "No, Lenalee, he's not here. I was wondering if he was the reason you're so upset, but now I guess I've confirmed it. Look, there are even dried tears on your cheeks." He reached out, running his hand down my arm until he took hold of my hand. "You're a mess, Lenalee. Don't let him have this much power over you!"

"It's easy for you to say!" I gasped, feeling the tears falling down my cheeks again. "You didn't spend your childhood running away from him!" I didn't mean to take it out on him, but I needed to express my feelings somehow.

Allen became frantic. "Lenalee? Are you crying? You're crying again, right? Pie! We need pie, Lavi! PIE!"

Lavi rolled his eye before turning back to me. "Do you want _pie_, Lenalee?" he asked, humoring Allen.

"I'll go get pie…for all of us, of course…Lenalee shouldn't eat it all by herself…it would make her sick!" Allen babbled on, trying to find an excuse to eat some more.

Lavi stepped on his foot. "Don't be an idiot, Allen! You've already eaten every leftover Jerry had in the kitchen! There isn't any pie _left_!"

Allen smiled over at me. "We can bake some, then. It will get your mind off of everything, and we can have some fun for once!"

"Allen, you can be such a child," Lavi teased. "Pie isn't the solution. Besides, you should go back to your room before Link realizes you're gone."

"Link can bake us a pie," he suggested.

Listening to the two of them banter, I was able to calm down a bit. Lavi still held my hand, and Allen was smiling at me so cheerfully that he made it seem like there was nothing in the world to be afraid of…other than the threat of not being able to find _pie_.

I was able to crack a grin at him. "Don't worry about me, Allen. You either, Lavi. I know I seem like a wreck, but I don't want you two wasting your time trying to cheer me up. Besides, I don't think I could eat anything right now."

Allen merely shrugged. "Just keep it in mind, alright? I don't know if it'll work for you or not, but I find that you can never escape your troubles without some sugar to keep you upbeat!"

I saw Lavi turn to shoot a sarcastic comment at him, and his mouth was moving, though I couldn't hear a thing. Allen's words _you can never escape _sent a chill through my body, and I began trembling. Once again, memories of Leverrier flooding back to me, consuming my mind completely.

_I was on the ground, crying. I had failed once again to run away from the Order. He was towering over me, smiling menacingly. Tears streamed down my dirty face as he-_

"Lenalee!" I felt Lavi's grip tighten around my shaking hand. My trembling stopped nearly immediately. He examined my face as I snapped out of daydream and looked back at him. I realized I was beginning to sweat and that my legs were growing even weaker. I slipped off the wall, finding that I was becoming a little dizzy. Lavi caught me and I leaned against his shoulder.

"Lenalee," he repeated in a firmer voice. "Tell us what's wrong. How can you let him make you feel like this? He's just a stupid inspector!"

Instead of arguing, I shook my head against his shoulder. "I'm overtired, Lavi. Everything's worse when you're tired. I just need to go to sleep."

My eyes were shut, so I couldn't see his expression. He was silent for a moment before offering, "We'll help you get to your room. Can you walk?"

I leaned against him, forcing myself to walk down the hall. Allen stood on the other side of me, one of his hands on my back. As we walked down the hall, I kept my eyes open for any sign of Leverrier.

Allen opened my door and stepped inside my room, holding it wide open for us. Just as I was walking in with Lavi, I heard a shout come down the hall.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING GOING INTO MY SISTER'S ROOM SO LATE AT NIGHT?"

I groaned slightly. "Brother, he's just helping me get in. I'm overtired. Why are you up, anyhow?"

Komui was standing next to me now. Allen peeked out of the room over at him.

"I was going to go check on you, but you weren't in your room!" he explained. "You worried me, Lenalee!"

_I've been worrying a lot of people lately_, I thought sadly. "I'm sorry, older brother. I didn't mean to worry you." I felt my voice shaking again, but this time my determination not to cry overpowered my tiredness, which was probably causing my emotional outbursts. I knew that if I cried, he'd probably stop spazzing, and I had worried him enough tonight. "I just went for a walk and met up with Lavi and Allen, and since I was so tired, they offered to help me get back to my room."

Komui didn't look completely convinced. Of course he wasn't. He knew me well enough to know when I was upset. Despite this, he somehow nodded and pretended to buy that I was all right. "Good night, then. I'm trusting you boys to _leave right after she's in the room_."

Lavi and Allen exchanged annoyed glances and nodded. "Yes, sir!"

He turned and walked away. I was grateful that he had let it go for now at the same time I hated pretending I was fine. It was almost like lying to him. The tears began to well up in my eyes, but I kept my head down so no one could see.

Lavi led me into the room and over to my bed. I sat down and he sat next to me. Allen scanned the hall and shut the door quietly.

"Do you need to talk about it?" he asked politely.

I shook my head. "All I need is sleep so that I stop acting so silly and worrying everyone!" I grinned lightly, kicking off my shoes. "You two better get out, though, before either my brother or Link catches you out of your rooms!"

Allen laughed half-heartedly, probably picturing Link searching for them. Lavi was just watching me, not buying it.

I rested a hand on his shoulder. "Honestly, I'm fine! You two go get some sleep. We all need as much rest as we can, trying to heal from our wounds!" I smiled. "Now go!"

Allen turned the doorknob and opened the door, watching me as he drifted into the hall. Lavi gave me one last worried glance. "Hang in there, OK, Lenalee? We hate seeing you worked up like this." He caught a tear I hadn't even felt coming with his finger and wiped it off before standing up and following Allen out of the room. He shut the door gently as I climbed back under my covers, cringing. I wish I hadn't had to lie to everyone like that. But I couldn't worry them! It was better this way.

I forced away my tears and drifted into sleep.


	2. Face to Face

I knew he was there

2. I awoke abruptly the next morning. With a jolt, I sat up. I had had a dreamless night, but somehow my uneasiness was already returning. With a growl of my stomach, I rushed to change my clothes and to get down to eat breakfast.

Lavi and Allen sat talking at one of the tables. Harold Link sat next to them silently. I walked over to join them, realizing they already had a tray laid out for me.

"Good morning," I greeted them.

"Good morning!" Allen called cheerfully as I sat before the tray of food. I began to reach for it, but Lavi pulled it away, shooting me a glare.

"Who said that for you?" he demanded.

My eye's grew wide with shock, and I stuttered an apology.

Lavi laughed, pushing it back at me. "Come on, Lenalee! I was teasing you! You need to laugh!" He tried to smile encouragingly, but I found it impossible to smile back.

Miranda and Krory wandered over to join us. Miranda took one look at me and gasped. "Lenalee, you're as pale as a ghost!"

I looked down at my lap. "I'm fine, really! Please, everyone, stop worrying about me!"

"Who's up for seconds?" Allen asked, eyeing the twelve empty bowls in front of him.

"Allen, no one's even started eating yet."

Allen snatched a piece of toast off of my tray, not commenting. Lavi smacked his wrist.

"OW!" He dropped the bread.

"Lenalee needs to eat much more than you do!" he snapped.

"It's fine, really," I cried, handing the piece over to him. "_I'm _fine!"

Allen shook his head, looking back and forth between Lavi and I before heading back over to Jerry's kitchen.

I turned to Lavi. "Don't be rude to Allen! I really don't care if he eats off my plate or not!"

"I do!" he argued. "You look like crap, Lenalee, and you need to get some more energy into you." As I opened my mouth to object, he took the toast and shoved it into my mouth. "There, that wasn't too hard, was it? Now take a tip from Allen and finish your breakfast!"

I chewed the bread, not arguing because I _was _hungry. I fell silent and turned back to my breakfast. Miranda and Krory were watching me as they ate, most likely wondering what was wrong.

"I'm just a little overtired," I told them, knowing that they, at least, would buy it. They nodded and turned away. Good, the less people I need to continue lying to the better.

Allen joined us, and the three of us (and Link) finished around the same time. We stood up and headed for the exit of the cafeteria.

Just as we exited, none other than Leverrier began to enter. He looked over at us and began to walk towards us.

I heard my breath quicken and my hands became wobbly, causing my tray to shake. Lavi quickly grabbed it from me and placed it on top of his. He put a hand on my back and led me in the opposite direction of Leverrier, though he just turned and came our way.

"Shit, what's he doing?" Lavi muttered.

Allen glanced quickly between Leverrier and me before shrugging. "Beat's me."

"Good morning," he said in his taunting voice as he came in earshot of us. I became so grateful to have Lavi and Allen with me, knowing that without them, I would probably be in a worse condition right then.

Allen stepped forward a bit, trying to read Leverrier's eyes to see what it was he wanted. Lavi angled his body discreetly so he was in front of me. He wasn't looking at me, though. He was looking over our heads at Link.

"I just wanted to check that everything was going right," he explained, looking at Link and Allen.

Link nodded. "Yes, sir! Everything is fine, sir!"

"Good," he muttered. He smiled over at me before turning and walking away.

Lavi pushed me out of the cafeteria faster than I could keep up. Allen hurried out after us.

"Let's go outside," Lavi suggested in an irritated tone. "That freak probably _never _goes outside unless it's to get on a train!"

Allen stopped following us suddenly, looking back in forth between Link and I, probably thinking that it was best not to come with us with him following. He shook his head. "You two go on without me. I think I'm going to get some reading done." He smiled at us and hurried off in a different direction, Link following.

Lavi shook his head. "Poor guy, getting stalked by a freak like that." He immediately turned back to me. Not that you've got it any better. Let's get the hell out of here!"

He pushed me outside into the cool air. We sat down on the grass, leaning against the side of the building, far from the windows.

"Does Komui know you have this problem?" he asked first.

"Of course he does," I answered. "That's why he came to the Order in the first place! He just tends to keep his distance while Leverrier's around, though, because he tends to stick to my brother a bit." I frowned, thinking of his worried expression last night as he left me. "I can tell he worries about me, though, and I wish I could be stronger, for his sake." I bit my trembling lip, keeping my eyes at my feet.

"Is there anything you usually do that makes you feel better when he's around?" Lavi continued.

I shrugged. "I guess I hang around Kanda lot. He doesn't ask questions, which makes it easy for me."

Lavi groaned. "Then I'm bugging you right now, aren't I?"

I shook my head, looking up from my feet to see his expression. He seemed a little bothered. "No, not at all, Lavi! Usually I want to be left alone, but right now, I really need the company." He didn't seem to believe it. "I'm not just saying it, either! I feel like I want to put how I feel into words, but it's the same time every time I try. There's nothing more to say, you know?" I looked at him uncertainly.

"You don't have to explain it. I understand." He seemed to be frowning a bit now, too. I could see honest concern in his face and I wished there were some way that I could make him smile and stop worrying about me. I didn't want to upset him. It was bad enough one of us had to be like this.

"Thanks, Lavi," I responded, not knowing how to continue. "I guess I just kept my fear of him since I was a child and I can't get rid of it. I don't think I can change it at this time." I felt my voice breaking as I went on. "I just…when he's here, I feel like he _knows_ how I feel and uses it against me. He really…I don't know…scares me. And he sees that! It makes things so hard!" I resisted tears. I had been crying too much lately. "Why can't I let it go? Why do I _give _him this power?"

Lavi didn't answer. He reached out and put his arm around my shoulder, pulling my head to his. He rested his head on top of mine as I dug my face into his shoulder, his red hair falling in my face.

"I'm…s-sorry…" I gasped, having trouble keeping my voice steady again.

"Stop apologizing! We all deserve a chance to complain now and then in this shitty excuse for a life."

I managed a laugh, but it sounded like I was choking instead. "I seem to be the one who complains the most, though," I said, repeating what I had been thinking last night. "I never give any of you a chance to complain. You're always busy taking care of me and my silly problems!"

"Believe me, none of your problems are silly," he responded. "Besides, I don't need to complain. I'm just a bookman, right? What I think about what's going on shouldn't matter."

I cringed. I _hated it _when he talked like that about himself. "No, Lavi, NO! What you feel is important to me!" I pulled away from him, taking his face in my hands so he couldn't turn away. "Stop saying that all the time! I don't care who you are, I need you to know that you can always count on me if you ever get the chance to complain!"

Lavi looked at me like I was crazy before laughing. "Lenalee, you're one of a kind, aren't you?" He leaned back against the wall as I let go of his face. "I have trouble keeping my place sometimes. I _need _to say things like that to remind myself."

I turned my gaze back to the ground, feeling a little hurt myself. I really wished he'd stop talking like that, almost as much as I wished I were stronger around Leverrier.

He cocked his head so he could see my face. "Feeling better?"

I looked over at him. His green eye was sparking and his silly grin was spread across his face. This was his attempt to veer the conversation away from himself.

I nodded, half grinning. "A little. Thanks, Lavi." I glanced back over at the entrance. "I don't really want to go back inside, though. Can we stay out here a little longer? Let's talk about something other than Leverrier and bookmen."

He studied my face for a moment before nodding. "Sure, fine by me. I hate being locked up in that place all the time anyway."

I slipped my cold hand into his warm one, hoping that he wouldn't pull away. He wrapped his fingers around my hand without a complaint. I smiled and he began to joke about how much Allen had eaten at breakfast today.


	3. Managing

3

3. How long ago had it been since I had had that conversation with Lavi? It must have been at least a week. A lot had happened since then, concerning my relationship with Leverrier.

A level four akuma had been inside headquarters, and Allen needed my help to stop it. That was impossible, though, because I had lost my Innocence. Leverrier disagreed, of course, and had forced me to put Innocence inside of myself.

It had been a horrifying experience. I was had been so petrified when he had come crashing through the door my older brother had locked Lavi and I behind to come and drag me down to Helvaska. He came in and demanded that I, an exorcist, come with him. He had grabbed me by the arm and tried to pull me down. It was all I could do to keep steady and to pull away. For once, I had not felt like crying, because my fear was so strong that it wouldn't allow me to. But even though I had pulled away, he had pursued me again, grabbing my shoulders and yelling at me, asking if I had understood what he had said. Of course I had, but there was nothing I could do about it. So many people before me who had taken in Innocence like that had died. I didn't want to take that risk then. Eventually he had convinced me and I went with him willingly, and everything had turned out all right. That didn't change the fact that I was even more afraid of him now than ever, though.

Just as I had predicted while talking to Lavi, he _knew _that I was afraid of him and he used it against me, saying things like, "You can never escape," like he had so many years ago. The only reason I even did what he asked of me was for my older brother.

Somehow, even though I hadn't been alone when he came for me, I had still been terrified. Having Lavi and the Matron with me helped a little, though.

I sat up in my bed, seeing that there was a dim sunlight coming through the window. How could it only have been yesterday that all of it happened? Now it seemed like a distant nightmare. At least Leverrier would be leaving tomorrow.

I ran a comb through my short hair and quickly changed. I had slept in late again, and needed to get out of my room. I had been spending too much time hiding in it lately. Maybe knowing that Leverrier would be leaving soon was making me feel a little better. I wasn't sure yet.

The halls were empty. Everyone must be busy packing to go to the new headquarters. I figured I should go help them, but another idea struck my mind first.

When Leverrier had pursued me yesterday, Lavi had been there to protect me from him and I had never thanked him for his help. When Leverrier had grabbed me, it had been Lavi to push him off and tell him to leave me alone. Even when I decided to go with Leverrier, Lavi had come with me to make sure that I was all right. I needed to thank him for all he had done before I went to help pack up with the others.

As I wandered to Lavi's room, I remembered something that Leverrier had said to him. He had demanded why he, a mere bookman, had been so adamant on protecting an exorcist. I shuddered, wishing that Leverrier hadn't said that to him. I knew Lavi took all the bookmen stuff to heart and he never let any of it go. I didn't want him to keep thinking of himself as nothing more than a bookman. He was much more to me, and I'm sure the others had felt the same way. In helping me, he had gotten himself hurt. I would have to apologize for that after I thanked him.

Down the hall, I spotted Kanda stalking by. I waved, calling to him. "Kanda! Wait up! Do you know how the others are doing?" Everyone had suffered severe injuries yesterday fighting the akuma.

"Why should I know? I don't care!" he barked.

I sighed. "You have to know _something_. How are _you _doing?"

"I'm fine," he snapped, turning away. "You're talking to the wrong person. If you want to know how they are, go find out yourself."

I groaned as he stormed away. Kanda could be so inconsiderate sometimes. I knew that he _did _care, though, because he had protected my brother from the akuma the other day. I hate to think of what would have happened if he hadn't.

I continued on to Lavi's room. I knocked, and Bookman answered.

"I was wondering if I could see Lavi," I explained. "I wanted to make sure his injuries are healing well."

He nodded and opened the door wider, stepping out as I stepped in, to give us privacy, I guess. I smiled down at him before heading over to where Lavi was sitting on his bed.

"I see I'm not the only one who slept in late today," I commented, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

He shrugged. "I'm kind of tired from yesterday. I figured I might as well take the chance to sit around and do nothing while I had it." His smile faded and he began to examine my face. "So, how are you doing after all that happened yesterday?"

I sighed, falling back onto the bed. "I'm not too sure. I guess I'm still a little scared from the whole Leverrier issue, but I'm starting to feel better since he'll be leaving tomorrow. I'm happy things worked out, though. I guess that in a way, he actually _did _help by forcing me to take in the Innocence. I hate to admit that, though."

Lavi crinkled his nose in disgust. "I hate to hear you admit that, too, after all the crap he gave you. It's too bad he works so close to the Pope. Someone needs to give that ass a slap in the face now and then to keep him in place."

I actually smiled a little. It was so like Lavi to think like that.

"I am happy he's leaving, though. Besides, we're just going to meet up with him at our new headquarters."

"Thanks for reminding me." I became quiet for a moment before adding, "And thanks for yesterday, too. You really stuck your neck out for me, talking back to Leverrier like that. I know I went with Leverrier in the end, but I still really appreciate what you did. I'm sorry his anger turned on you, though."

"It was nothing," he assured me. "And I don't care what he thinks of me. For once, I didn't really care that I was a bookman. I _had _to go after you. I guess I broke every rule us bookmen have that day, but I honestly don't care." He smirked at me. "That wasn't what mattered at the time."

I smiled back at him. "I'm happy to hear you say that, Lavi. Even if you're a bookman, you're still you. I wish you'd remember that a little more often."

He didn't answer, of course. He never did when I said things like that.

"How are Allen and the others?" I asked. "Kanda wouldn't tell me."

Lavi laughed, lying down next to me. "Allen's hanging in there. He got pretty beaten up, but he's tougher than he looks. He should be better in no time. Everyone else seems to be fine, other than Johnny. He's in a wheelchair."

"That's too bad."

"How's your brother?"

"Better."

I watched the ceiling fan spinning around, not knowing what to say next. All my emotions were so tangled up that I couldn't make out what they meant. I was proud for having defeated a level four Akuma, for regaining my Innocence, and for helping my brother. I was also happy that I would have a break from Leverrier. This was only temporary, though, and I knew this. Soon we'd be at the new headquarters, back with Leverrier, and he'd be watching us and questioning us all over again. I cringed, not knowing what to do. Maybe he'd leave me alone this time. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad…

Lavi leaned over me. "What are you thinking? You look like you're about to be sick. Not on my bed, please."

I shook my head. "That's not it, and I'm not sick. I guess I'm just worried about what's to come. I don't want to have Leverrier with us again. I wish he would just go back to where he came from and stop bothering us!" I heard my voice crack at the end of the sentence and hated myself for not being able to go a day without breaking down like this.

Lavi fell back down onto the bed, taking my hand into his and holding on tightly. "Lenalee, we can't think about that right now. Right now, we have to concentrate on our successes. In this pathetic career, we can't worry about the future. We'll get too overwhelmed. We have to think about the present and keep our mind on that. Keep thinking about defeating the akuma and reuniting with your brother. Don't think about the geezer with the terrible haircut."

I laughed a little, agreeing about Leverrier's bizarre hairstyle. "Oh, Lavi, what would I do without you?" I asked, still laughing.

"You'd probably have to eat pie to feel better," he answered, a smirk spreading across his face.

I smiled back, rolling over so my head was resting on his shoulder. Like he said, I had to stop worrying about the future. Who knew what that would bring? Worrying about it wouldn't make it any better. I had to focus on the good things in the present, and right now, lying next to Lavi, that wasn't too hard.


	4. Trapped

4

This chapter doesn't follow the manga as closely as the others did, but I hope you still enjoy it! Please review and let me know what you think!

4. I boarded the train to our new headquarters, casting one last glance at the place I had called home for almost as long as I could remember. It was a bittersweet moment. Of course, I had never wanted to be part of the Black Order, so leaving behind the building that held so many of my worst memories was also a relief. But it also held many of my best memories, too, such as joining up with Komui again and meeting the other members of the Order such as Lavi, Allen, and Kanda. I didn't know how to feel as I said farewell to the large, black building.

I turned around, to see Leverrier waiting on the platform, a ticket the same color as mine in his hand. I cringed, deciding on how I felt about it.

The problem was Leverrier. Even if I went to a new headquarters, he'd still follow me there, and I'd still have to make terrible memories at the new place because of him. I knew that life couldn't be perfect, but I wished there was someplace I could go to escape Leverrier.

"Hey, Lenalee!" a familiar voice called from behind. I turned to see Lavi striding over to me, holding up a train ticket that was the same color as mine. "Looks like we're going to be in the same booth."

I looked down at my ticket, not understanding. "It doesn't say where I'm seated on here, though-"

"They have a new system based on color," he explained, pointing to his blue ticket. "Pretty cool, huh?"

I bit my tongue. I knew he hated it when I let Leverrier control my feelings like this, but having to be in the same booth as him was really disconcerting. I gripped onto the ticket with a shaky hand, not knowing how to respond.

Lavi reached out, taking my hand and squeezing it tightly so I stopped shaking. "Hey, what's wrong? You looked fine a moment ago. Did I say something wrong?"

I shook my head. "No, that's not it. It isn't you, Lavi. It's…well, I hate to bring this up again, but-" I pointed to Leverrier "-look who we're sharing the booth with!"

Lavi's eyes lit up and he nodded slowly. "Oh…right. _Him_." He frowned for a moment, looking over at him, before turning back to me. "Well, don't worry about it. I'll be there with you, so-"

"-And so will I!" Allen piped up from behind us, waving his ticket in our faces. "Link, too, of course. Actually, I think it's because I'm in this booth that Leverrier's with us." He pointed over to Leverrier's card, frowning. "This should be interesting, huh?"

"Yeah, real interesting," I muttered in a gloomy voice. Hopefully the ride wouldn't be too long.

"Lenalee!" Komui called, walking over from the ticket stand. "I tried to get a seat with you, but it seems that your section is full." He looked at my card before asking, "Who else is in your booth?"

I looked up at him, not sure I wanted to tell the complete truth. I was sick of worrying him all of the time. "Well, there's Lavi, Allen, and Link..."

"Leverrier, too!" Allen added in. "This might be a problem."

I smacked my forehead, wishing that he hadn't mentioned that. "Allen…"

Allen crossed his arms, looking at me sternly. "Well, you might as well tell the whole truth. Maybe we can get you into another booth."

I shook my head, lowering my hand from my hair. "No, really, I'll be fine. I need to overcome this fear eventually. This is a good place to start. It won't be for too long and I won't be alone. I need to start getting used to being around him if he's going to be staying at the new headquarters with us." I tried to smile encouragingly at my brother. He let out a sigh before nodding.

"Fine. Just be careful, all right?" He raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to."

I nodded in return. "Sure. I'll be fine."

"Besides, he might have some of those great cakes!" Allen cried excitedly, quickly changing his mind. I couldn't help but laugh.

A whistle blew and we all turned our gaze to the train. Komui gave me one last grin before going off to where he was boarding. I turned to Allen and Lavi and approached the train, Link and Leverrier not too far behind.

We climbed onto the train and I took a seat between Allen and Lavi. Leverrier and Link sat across from us, accompanied by one of their partners that I didn't know the name of. He took out a book, not seeming to want to talk. I wished I had a book, too.

I almost wanted to talk, though – to Lavi and Allen, at least. That way Leverrier wouldn't get a chance to get a word in. I didn't need him listening in on me, though, so I kept my mouth shut, debating on what do to.

I saw Lavi shoot a look at me before calling out the window to one of the conductors. "Do you know how long this ride is going to be?"

"About forty minutes," he responded.

Lavi turned back to me, whispering quietly into my ear. "This shouldn't be too bad, right?"

I nodded, somehow having lost my voice to my nerves.

The train began moving with a sudden jolt. I kept my eyes focused on the scenery outside, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. It was a good ten minutes before Leverrier spoke.

"It's been quite a week, huh?" he asked conversationally. "It's a shame that the headquarters got so beaten up like that. It could have been worse if you two exorcists hadn't been able to fight off that akuma."  
Luckily, Allen decided to be the one to respond to this. "Yeah, really. You should reward us with some of your cake!"

Lavi snickered a little, probably thinking that I would never eat anything touched by him – which was more than true. Leverrier paid no heed to his laughter.

"Yes, it was definitely a close call, Allen Walker. Maybe once you've proven yourself to be who you say you are, you can taste the excellency of my cakes." This time Lavi was snickering because of how vain Leverrier was.

Allen chose not to say anything to that. He looked down at his lap, clenching his fist slightly.

"It seems that I haven't spoken to you since our issue the other day, Lenalee Lee," he continued, finally addressing me. I kept staring out the window, not ready to look at him quite yet. "Do you hold a grudge against me for forcing you to invoke your Innocence like that? You should be thanking me. Because of my push, you were able to defeat the akuma and discover a new type of Innocence!"

"Thank you? As if!" Lavi scoffed. I tore my eyes away from the window; shocked that Lavi had dared to talk to him like that. "She could have _died _doing that. She has no reason to thank you!"

I looked up to see Leverrier's face fall into a frown. "She's an exorcist, is she not? An exorcist should be willing to give their life away for the sake of their mission at any time. Am I not correct?"

"No, you aren't!" Lavi continued.

It was nice to see someone finally talk back to Leverrier, but I didn't want it to be Lavi. I didn't want him to get in trouble for this. Leverrier's wrath was not something I wished upon anyone else, especially not Lavi, who had already done enough to help me get through the past few weeks.

"Lavi!" I muttered urgently, advising him to stop while he could.

He ignored me. "If you go along with that kind of idea in your mind, eventually there won't be many exorcists left. What do you do then, huh? Do you just plan on forcing humans to try and invoke the Innocence all over again?"  
I bit my tongue, shutting my eyes. I didn't want to hear what Leverrier would have to say to that.

"This doesn't concern you, bookman," Leverrier hissed. "You're meant to stand aside and record history, not comment on it! And what are you doing? Holding hands with an exorcist? Who do you think you are?"

Lavi's face turned a little red and he opened his mouth to say something back when the booth began to shake violently. It was as if we were being hit by something on the outside. Two more bangs came, drastically shaking the cart. Allen and Lavi grabbed onto the armrest and I, not knowing what else to hang on to, grabbed hold of Lavi, wrapping my arms around him and holding on tightly.

There was one more bang and the booth stopped moving. I could still hear the train riding along, but the sound became more and more distant. We had been cut off from the rest of the train, but by what?

Allen opened the door to our booth and a large gush of cold air hit us. We stood up, joining him outside of the booth.

Broken bits of the train were scattered along the train tracks, but there was no sign of what had caused us to break off of the train. I let go of Lavi, feeling a little embarrassed, and began looking around the area.

I didn't have to look for long. A high-pitched voice came from behind us, saying in a taunting, singsong voice, "I've found you!" We all spun around to face a large akuma, its arms held out to us as if inviting our attacks. "The Earl has told us all to 'wait back' for a while, but it was just to boring for me!" It grinned menacingly, and in a lower, darker voice, he beckoned to us. "Come, exorcists. Play with me!"


	5. Delay

5

5.The akuma stood before us, smiling wickedly. It held its arms out, urging us to attack it.

"Well?" Leverrier cried from behind us. "You _are _exorcists, aren't you?"

Lavi rolled his eyes. "We've heard _that _line _way _too many times before."

I was watching the akuma, not entirely listening to anyone else. "It's just a level two," I concluded after a moment. "It shouldn't be too hard to defeat. Let _me _take care of it. I need to practice with my new Innocence anyway."

"You don't have to do this alone, Lenalee!" Allen cried, holding me back with his hand.

"It should be easy," I reassured him. "Don't worry."

"That's right, don't worry, Allen Walker," Leverrier's voice came again. "Let's see Lenalee use her Innocence."

I gulped, turning back to the akuma. I wanted to do this to prove myself to everyone, though I didn't quite know why. I just wanted Leverrier to be quiet.

"Innocence, activate!" I cried. The metal rings on my legs grew out, covering my legs. I took a leap into the air, soaring towards the akuma.

As I predicted, it wasn't too hard. After just a few kicks from my new, stronger Innocence, the akuma was severely weakened. It only was able to attack me a few times, and most of the attacks merely skimmed me. Beneath my feet, I could feel the akuma weakening. I was sure that it would break with just a few more kicks.

I decided to kick off of the broken train booth to give myself some leverage. I sprung far into the air, plummeting down with my boots pointed out towards the akuma, ready for the final blow.

I was only inches away from the akuma when it reached out and hit me roughly, banging me into the strong metal pieces of the broken train. I hit my head roughly and the crash caused another, larger piece of metal that was on top of the one I had been thrown into to fall on my arm roughly, trapping it. I winced, biting my lip so not to scream. I could feel my arm breaking underneath its weight, and blood was beginning to trickle down my head.

"Crown Clown!" I heard Allen cry out, taking over where I had left off.

While he finished off the akuma, I concentrated on prying the metal off of my arm. I moved slightly, but it hurt to move it, too. I needed to lift it, but I couldn't do it with one hand.

"Get up and fight, Lenalee Lee!" I heard Leverrier scream.

Lavi rushed over to me, lifting the metal off of my arm and casting it to the side. He knelt down in front of me, examining my arm. "Are you all right?" he asked frantically.

I wanted to answer 'yes', and to make that worried expression vanish off his face, but I couldn't lie. My arm was killing me. "I…I don't think so!"

"Tell me if this hurts." He examined my arm, reaching out and gently placing his fingertips onto it. I winced, feeling a strong pain all through my arm. "I'll take that as a yes." He turned around reluctantly, looking over and Leverrier and Link. "Hey! Mustache dude! Is there a hospital nearby?"

Leverrier seemed taken aback by his new nickname, but decided to ignore it. He came stalking forward, hovering over Lavi and I. His shadow loomed over me, covering me completely in darkness, as he looked down, examining my arm from where he was standing above us. "It doesn't look too severe," he concluded after a moment.

"It's _broken_," Lavi said in a slow voice. "She needs a hospital."

"How humiliating, Lenalee Lee!" he cried. "Getting hospitalized over a level two akuma!"

"I got rid of the akuma!" Allen called over from where he was, oblivious to our situation. "Man, am I hungry now!" He took another look at us, realizing I was still on the ground. "Are you all right?"

Lavi stood up, reminding us all of how tall he was as he glared at Leverrier. "I said we _need a hospital_."

"There's one not too far from here!" the sixth passenger cried, pointing to the left. "It should only take about fifteen minutes walking!"

Everyone fell silent for a moment. Lavi backed up from Leverrier, helping me to my feet. Leverrier stalked off in the direction the man had pointed to, not saying anything more. Allen joined us as we walked to the hospital. I cradled my broken arm in my other one.

Lavi pulled off his headband, tying it tightly around my head. "This will stop the bleeding until we get to the hospital," he explained.

The rest of the walk was completely silent. Leverrier and the sixth passenger led the way, followed closely behind by the three of us and then Link, who was walking a little bit behind Allen.

As we walked, I kept wishing that the damned akuma had never broken the train. If it hadn't, we'd already be at the new Headquarters. Now I was stuck for even longer with Leverrier. I remembered what everyone had said before we had left, promising that it would be a short ride. Because of our delay, I was sure this day with Leverrier was going to last a lifetime, and there was no way I could escape it.


	6. Recovery

6

6. My eyes opened with a jolt. I had just woken from a nightmare – I was sure of it. I couldn't quite remember what it had been about, but the lingering fear remained, reminding me that I had had one. I shivered, pushing away the last memories of whatever I had dreamed about, forcing away the feelings of fear that came with it.

I glanced around, realizing I was still in the hospital. There was a cast on my broken arm and my head was bandaged. I felt something warm on my hand and looked down, seeing Lavi slumped over, asleep, with his head rested on the edge of my bed. He was kneeling down next to it, his large, warm hand wrapped around mine. Allen was sitting in one of the chairs, his head titled back and empty food cartons surrounding him. I smiled to myself, not wanting to wake them. I tried to lie back down as silently as I could, but my hand moved a bit and Lavi's eyes flicked open.

"I'm sorry!" I gasped. "I didn't mean to wake you!"

He let out a yawn, brushing his free hand through his bushy hair. "It's fine. How long have I been asleep for?" We both looked at the clock at the same time. It was six in the morning. "Wow, I was able to sleep here most of the night."

I frowned. "You two shouldn't have stayed here! You should have gone to an inn or something! You must be so sore from sleeping in that position!"

He shook his head. "No, I'm fine. I didn't want to leave you here alone, first of all, and I didn't want to go to an inn with all the old freaks." Then he pointed over at Allen, smirking. "He was worried about you, too. Plus, he was having too much fun eating all the food the nurses brought to leave."

I couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, I guess. I wish you two hadn't stayed, but I still appreciate it." I sighed, turning my gaze to the window. "I wish we were at the new Headquarters already. I'm sure my brother's already crazy with worry."

"Unfortunately, you're going to have to stay here for a few days, according to the doctor. He said it wasn't anything too severe, though – it's just that you hit your head pretty hard and they want to keep an eye on you. Don't worry about it. After that, we go find the old coots and head to our new home!" He tried to smile reassuringly, but I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy. Now that Leverrier was the subject of discussion, I was sure he was what my nightmare had been about. I remembered to the previous day and how he had loomed over me. It reminded me too much of my first years at the Order. Another shiver went through my body as the memories flashed through my mind. I couldn't hold them back.

I groaned, pulling my hand away from his and resting it over my face. "I can't believe myself!" I cried out, exasperated. "I can't believe I still feel like this! I keep saying that I'm going to get over it, and that I won't let Leverrier control me like this, but somehow, I just can't get my fear for him to go away! I feel like I'll never be able to escape it, no matter how hard I try!"

I heard him sigh. I figured he was sick of hearing me complaining about this all the time by now. I was happy my hand was over my face. I didn't think I could look at him right now.

There was a light knock on the door and the nurse came in, holding a telephone. She held it out to us, smiling. "You have a call, Miss Lee."  
I sat up, smiling back, and accepted the phone. It would really make me feel much better to talk to my brother. I had been expecting him to call, anyway. "Hello? Komui?" I called into the phone.

"Lenalee Lee," the dark, treacherous voice came. Hadn't I just been talking about him? How could he have such terrible timing? Then again, what time _was _a 'good time' to talk to Leverrier?

I had been expecting my brother. This wasn't a nice surprise. I could already feel my face growing pale. My eyes darted around the room uncertainly, looking anywhere but at Lavi. It was so embarrassing to be so emotionally weak. I hated being seen like this, especially in front of him.

"What is it?" I managed to ask. I was sure everyone in the room knew it wasn't Komui I was talking to by now.

"The three of us are coming over to the hospital soon. We're going to be leaving in a half an hour to get to the new Headquarters. We'll be taking a carriage."

I felt a clog well up in my throat. How could I tell him that I couldn't? I took a deep breath before managing to whisper, "I can't leave."  
"What did you say?" he barked. I could see his infuriated face in my mind.

I cringed, not wanting to repeat it. "I can't leave the hospital yet. My head injury-"

"We'll be there in half an hour!" he repeated, louder this time. I had to pull the phone a little bit away from my face.

"Go on without me," I suggested. "I'll catch up with you once I'm healed."

"We're leaving today, and so will you be. Exorcists are needed at Headquarters. We cannot let you stay here, goofing off, when we need you at Headquarters. Be ready in half an hour." I heard a click and knew he had hung up on me.

I handed the phone back to the nurse, forcing a smile. She left and I reluctantly turned to Lavi, who I was sure had heard the whole conversation and knew what was going on.

"It's not too bad of an injury," I reminded him. "I should be fine."

He frowned in disapproval. "I don't know, Lenalee. You shouldn't _have _to leave-"

I held out my uninjured hand in front of myself, shaking my head. "No, Lavi, don't worry about me! I'll be fine. All I did was lose a little blood. As long as I'm bandaged up, I'll be fine."

He sighed again, just as he had a moment ago, and this time, as I was looking at him, I realized that it wasn't a sigh of annoyance but one of sadness. He wasn't annoyed by my fear of Leverrier, but rather, he was sad that I was so upset because of him. This made me feel even worse. I had been worrying too many people lately. I was about to object again – to assure him that I was fine – when I began feeling slightly dizzy. My vision blurred a bit and my head was spinning a little. I fell back onto my pillow, grabbing my head. It was beginning to hurt, as if needles were being stabbed into it. I winced a little, but tried my best to overcome it, not wanting to cause Lavi any more grief, though I supposed it was too late now.

He was frowning, sympathy plain on his face. I was beginning to feel extremely guilty for putting that expression on his face. I liked it when he was smirking and laughing. I hated to think that I had made him feel so miserable.

"Move over," he ordered suddenly, nudging my arm. Taken aback, my reaction was delayed, but only for a moment. I hesitantly moved over, trying not to move my head too quickly. Lavi climbed onto the bed, lying on top of the sheets. He lay down next to me, sharing the same pillow. I could feel my face gradually becoming redder and redder. Once he was settled, he reached out his arms and wrapped them around me, pulling me to himself.

I didn't know quite how to react at first, but he just kept holding me, resting his head on top of mine, not saying anything. I was extremely flustered, though I wasn't sure why, and almost pulled away before I realized how comfortable it was. Lavi was very soft, and very warm, and right now I was neither of those. I noticed for the first time how tense my muscles were and how all the blood had seemed to rush from my body when I got on the phone with Leverrier. My body had been in a very shaky state, too, and now I was calming down a bit, able to enjoy my last few minutes without Leverrier. I shut my eyes; trying not to concentrate on what would happen once he arrived.

"I'm sorry, Lenalee," Lavi finally said. "I'm just kind of upset right now." I paused, waiting for him to continue. "It's just that…well, you're always so sad and scared all the time, and it makes me sick." He laughed then. "Not you – Leverrier. I meant _he _makes me sick. I hate him and what he does to you. I wish I could do something, but…well…I'm just a-"

"-Bookman, I know," I finished with an irritated sigh.

"I was going to say 'whiney teenager', but I guess that works, too," he laughed. It made me feel a little better to hear him laughing again. "I guess I'm not acting like much of a bookman right now, am I?" he asked, his serious voice quickly returning. "Well, I guess I'm already a failure, so it doesn't make much of a difference now, does it?"

"Don't say that," I whispered, holding on to him tighter with my working arm. I didn't like the bookman part of him, either, but it was part of him, and I had to accept it.

We fell quiet again after that. My head was still dizzy, and it took everything I had to stay awake. I bit my tongue, trying to keep myself awake, before giving up completely. It was so quiet, and I was so comfortable, I couldn't resist sleep. Soon enough, Leverrier would be here to take me away, and I'd have to deal with him. For now, I might as well sleep while I had the chance.

I was just beginning to drift off to sleep, allowing my consciousness to slip away, when I heard a chair fall over and Allen scream in a terrified voice, "OH MY GOD! I fall asleep for a few hours and you two are _sleeping together_?"

Lavi pulled apart from me immediately, standing up with a jolt. I did the same, pulling myself to the other side of the bed. I was beginning to feel very anxious, but then Lavi started laughing, staring at Allen's horrified expression. After a moment, I couldn't help but join in.

I might as well laugh now, while I can.


	7. Darkness

7

Allen rubbed his eyes and yawned, finally regaining his calm. It didn't last for too long, though.

"Lenalee, you're being irrational!" he cried, shaking his head. "You don't have to leave here just because Leverrier wants you to! If you don't feel well, you should stay here and have us go back with him! It doesn't matter how high he's ranking! You should be able to stay here and heal your injuries if you need to!"

"I agree with Allen," Lavi piped up. "You should stay here!"

I didn't know why I wanted to argue with them. I supposed that I just didn't want to pick a fight with Leverrier. Besides, I had only hit my head. Some sleep should heal it in no time, right? "I'll be fine, you two! I told you to stop worrying! I'll go back to Headquarters, sleep for a bit, and I'll be as good as I've ever been. Okay?"

Lavi and Allen exchanged an uncertain glance. Lavi turned back to me, still looking unsure. "Lenalee, I don't think-"

I shook my head. "It's settled! I'm going back with you!"

Allen sighed. "We should probably call Komui and let him know we're on our way, then."

"No need," a familiar voice called from the doorway. We turned around to see Leverrier standing there, his arms behind his back. "I've already called him. I told him we'd be arriving soon."

I gulped, mustering the courage to speak to him. "Did you tell him about my accident?"

Leverrier shook his head. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Don't tell him, please!" I told the room. "I don't need to cause him an unnecessary worry! He's stressed enough with settling in to the new Headquarters and all!"

"You're going to pretend this didn't happen?" Lavi demanded.

I nodded. "As far as anyone has to know, I never invoked my Innocence. Allen defeated the akuma all by himself."

"I don't care either way," Leverrier spoke up. "Let's get going."

Lavi and Allen were still frowning in my direction, not seeming to want to agree with either of the arguments I had proposed this morning. I looked down at my feet and walked over to the door. The sixth passenger led the way while Leverrier and Link stood to the side, allowing us to exit first. I was sure it was because they wanted to watch us.

Lavi still seemed upset about my decisions. He reached out and put his arm around me as we walked out, Leverrier's beady eyes watching us closely.

"Should a bookman touch an exorcist in such a way?" he hissed as we passed him. Lavi's arm began slipping away. I quickly leaned my head against one of his broad shoulders, not wanting him to let Leverrier pull the bookman card on him again. He seemed taken aback by my gesture, but placed his arm back around me. Allen walked up next to me and took my hand as we walked out. Leverrier grunted with displeasure as he stalked after us out of the hospital.

The carriage was waiting for us outside. It was a cold day, and I wished we could have taken a train. I sat down inside the carriage in-between Lavi and Allen once again, Leverrier sitting across from us, watching our every movement. My eyes looked anywhere but at him, though it didn't help much. I could still feel his eyes on me.

Luckily, everyone was silent the entire ride so I didn't have to talk to him or hear him talk about me again. Soon enough I could see the Headquarters in the distance, waiting for us.

The carriage came to a stop in front of it. I leapt up, anxious to get off. As I climbed out of it, though, I felt my dizziness returning. Everything swirled a bit and became blurry. It was getting darker and darker by the second. I tried to take a step, not wanting anyone to see that I wasn't feeling well. I felt myself falling when two large hands grabbed me and pulled me back onto the carriage.

"Lenalee?" Lavi's voice sounded distant, like it was miles away. I knew my eyes were open, but everything was turning black. How hard _had _I hit my head?

I felt myself get seated down and the color began to return to everything. I blinked as the people and objects around me began to take shape. After a moment, I was seeing straight again. I rubbed my eyes, feeling a little uneasy at how close I had come to having a blackout.

"Lenalee?" Lavi asked again, shaking my lightly. I turned to his worried face, not knowing what to say. I couldn't hide my physical condition now.

"I'm fine," I lied, "just tired. Let's get inside so I can get some rest." I stood up again, this time not dizzy at all, and leapt out of the carriage. I began to walk towards the Headquarters, hearing the others' footsteps close behind.

Lavi grabbed my hand, stopping me and pulling me back. I refused to look at him. "Hey, Lenalee, what's wrong? It's your head injury, isn't it?"

I forced myself to look at him and smile. "I'm fine. Stop worrying about me!" I noticed Allen was behind him and added, "both of you! Please! I just need some rest, like I said a moment ago. Come on, let's go."

They didn't say anything more as we walked into the new Headquarters, side by side. My brother was right inside, waiting for me.

"Lenalee!" he called rushing over to me. "Are you all right? Leverrier didn't say much when he called me."

"I'm fine," I reassured him. "Allen finished off the akuma in a second. I didn't even have to invoke my Innocence."

He bought it easily. "Oh, good. You really had me worried for a while there. You should have called me!"

"I was really tired. I fell asleep the moment I got to the inn. I'm still a little tired, though. Could you show me my new room? I think I need a little bit more sleep."

He nodded, leading me down the hall. I looked over my shoulder, shooting Lavi and Allen one last smile. Allen attempted to smile back, though it didn't reach his eyes. Lavi was still frowning.

As I walked down the hall next to Komui, the dizziness began creeping back again. I pushed it away with everything I had, refusing to reveal my injuries to my brother. He opened the door to my room and I rushed over to the bed, falling onto it immediately.

"I'll talk to you later," Komui said as he shut the door.

I shut my eyes the moment he left, allowing the darkness to seep over me. The throbbing of my head picked up, a constant pounding, and I put a hand over my eyes. The darkness came even stronger than before, taking me over until everything was completely black.

--

When my eyes flicked back open I wasn't sure if I had been asleep or if I had passed out. I tried to sit up, but my head started spinning again. I fell back down, brushing a hand through my short hair, aggravated. I didn't want to let this injury control me. I forced myself to stand up, and I left the room.

The first person I recognized was Kanda. I waved to him. "Wait up, Kanda!"

He crossed his arm, irritated. "I heard you left the hospital earlier than you should have. You should be resting!"  
"I wish everyone would stop worrying. It's making me feel worse!" I followed him down the hall. "Where are we going?"

"I'm going to get some soba," he answered as he opened a large door, revealing our new cafeteria. "You should probably eat something, too. I heard Bean sprout ate everything the nurse brought to you."

"I was asleep, so it's better that the food didn't go to waste," I argued. To my surprise, Allen, Lavi, and Miranda were already seated at a table, eating. They waved for us to come over.

"Che. Like I want to sit with them," Kanda scoffed as he stomped over to the lunch line.

I quickly went over to join them. "Hey, guys."

"Feeling better?" Lavi asked.

I nodded. "Sleeping helped." Of course, this was mostly a lie because I had still felt sick when I had woken up. He didn't need to know that, though.

Allen stuck his fork into his salad and held it out to me. "You haven't eaten at all today. You should have something to get some energy."

I smiled. "Thanks. You guys shouldn't worry about me so much, though. I'm really fine." I leaned forward to take a bite of the salad and then everything went black.

It happened a lot more suddenly than it had the other times. It didn't sneak up on me, it rushed over me, knocking me out immediately and causing me to fall over. Three voices called to me, but I couldn't make out which one was which. Soon I couldn't hear or see anything at all.

I wanted to go back to where I had been, but I couldn't fight the darkness. I tried to concentrate on opening my eyes, but I couldn't. I wish I could hit myself for being so weak. I couldn't blame my condition on Leverrier. I could have stood up for myself and stayed at the hospital, but I had given in and allowed him to bring me back to the Headquarters. It was my decision or lack of that had brought me into this situation.

My eyes drifted open uncertainly. My hand felt around me, and I knew I was in a bed. I sat up slowly and cautiously, but the dizziness was gone. I looked around my empty room, wondering who had brought me there and how long I had been there. I brushed my hand through my short hair, wishing the infirmary were open.

I lay back down just as my door opened. Lavi stood in my doorway, smiling at me, though the smile didn't reach his eyes. In his hands was a tray with a bowl of soup in it.

"Allen had me bring you this while he looks for the matron," he explained, shutting the door behind him with the heel of his shoe. "The infirmary may be closed, but I'm sure she'll help you the best she can."

"How long was I out for? What happened?" I demanded, though part of me didn't want to know.

Lavi set the tray down on my nightstand, taking a seat on the edge of my bed. "You went unconscious during lunch. I carried you back to your room and then Allen told me to get soup while he found the matron. You've only been out for about ten to fifteen minutes."

" 'Only'?" I hissed, sitting up and brushing my hand through my hair again, this time even more aggravated. "There is no 'only' when you're passing out every few minutes! As if I hadn't been troublesome enough lately, now I can't even stay awake for a few minutes at a time!"

"Has this happened since we got here?" he asked in a shocked, worried tone. I nodded reluctantly. He frowned. "Why didn't you say anything, Lenalee? We could have gotten you help sooner." He looked away, becoming irritated. He bit his lip for a moment before saying, "If you didn't feel well, you shouldn't have let that damn Leverrier kick you out of the hospital."

"I know, I know!" I gasped. "I'm an idiot for letting him boss me around! I won't let it happen again!" He still looked upset, so I quickly added, "and if the matron can't help me, I'll go back to the hospital tomorrow. I promise!"

He finally turned his gaze back to me, and though he still looked annoyed, I also saw sympathy in his eyes. He nodded roughly before getting to his feet, nudging the tray towards me. "This'll help," he muttered, his back to me as he turned his gaze out of my window.

I watched him for a moment, wishing I could say something more to make him feel better. I had caused him a lot of worry ever since Leverrier had come, and he didn't deserve any of it. I felt guilty that I was always the one taking the smile off of his face rather than putting it on there.

Finding no words, I reached out for my tray. Just as I was doing so, a loud thudding came on my door. I looked up uncertainly at my shaking door, listening to the rough thuds. It couldn't be Allen. Allen wouldn't be banging on it that hard. Who was it, then?

"Lenalee Lee!" the usual voice came. "Come out here! You're needed downstairs!"

It figures that it was Leverrier. It was always Leverrier. When was he going to leave me alone?

I kicked off my blankets, standing up for only a moment before the dizziness crept back over, though only slightly. Lavi took my shoulders, pushing me back onto the bed. I wanted to go talk to Leverrier myself, to show him that I wasn't scared of him anymore, but with my current condition, I wasn't sure I could.

I was finally ready to confront him, and I was too weak to do so. Everything was the same as usual. At least I thought so before Lavi turned away from me and went to answer the door himself.


	8. Confrontations

8

Lavi turned his back to me as I sat on my bed, steadying my vision. He walked over to the door that Leverrier was behind, pounding on, and rested his hand on the doorknob, squaring his broad shoulders before slipping out of it, hardly opening it a crack before shutting it once again behind himself.

Leverrier was loud enough for me to hear, even with the door shut. "There is an announcement to be made downstairs. A sort of opening ceremony for our new headquarters. Lenalee Lee and yourself must be present."

"I'm afraid that's not going to happen today," I heard Lavi argue. "We'll ask the others about it tomorrow."

I could practically see Leverrier's long eyebrows rising as he asked, "And why, exactly, can you two notmake it?"

"You know why," Lavi shot back, sounding a little irritated. "You made her leave the hospital early and she hasn't completely healed yet."

Leverrier laughed a cruel, ridiculing laugh. "The injury she received from the level 2 akuma? Are you kidding with me, bookman Jr.? She's an exorcist, not to mention one that defeated a level 4 just the other day. You can't be serious when you say she's in such a bad condition that she can't sit through a simple ceremony!"

"She can't," he repeated firmly. "You know just as well as I do that it isn't the injuries inflicted by the akuma that have weakened her. She was thrown back into the train booth. Her head was hit pretty hard!"

He laughed again. "I'd say so."

"What's _that _supposed to mean?"

"Well, I don't see any reason why _you _can't come," he continued on. "You didn't receive any wounds the other day. Come with me, bookman Jr."

"I'm staying with her," Lavi said. "She's in terrible condition. She needs someone with her."

Leverrier laughed once more, this time even more menacingly than before. I still couldn't understand what he found so entertaining. Was it my condition? Was he that sick that he was laughing at my injuries? I wished I had been able to go out there and talk to him. I wanted to see his expression right now.

"What are you laughing about?" Lavi demanded, sounding impatient. "There's nothing funny about her condition!"

Leverrier was still chuckling maliciously as he answered. "Don't think I don't see what's going on here, bookman Jr. I've been watching you – both of you – from the start of this trip, I know what's going on. It's despicable, but I can't help but find it slightly amusing. An exorcist with a bookman? That's a first!"

Lavi paused, sounding taken aback. "What are you talking about? Lenalee and I aren't-"

"Oh, don't kid me! I've seen it all along, and now this. She refuses to come to a meeting, faking the severity of her injuries just so she can stay shacked up in her bedroom with you!"

Lavi's voice was a lot harsher as he responded. "Don't talk about her like that! Lenalee's not that kind of person!"

"Then it's settled. She'll come to the ceremony."

Lavi groaned loudly, and I could tell he was losing what remained of his patience. "Why is it so important that _she _come, or that _she _be there in person? Why are you always harping on _her_? What did she do to deserve that kind of treatment from you?"

"Everyone is required to attend this ceremony!" Leverrier snapped, his serious tone returning. His laughter was long gone.

"It's not an important ceremony at all!" Lavi shouted. "We'll just ask the others about it later! Besides, I'm sure Komui would rather have her resting than pushing herself to attend that ceremony." A moment passed before he added, "This headquarters is under Komui's rule, right? So it doesn't matter who comes or not."

"Komui has nothing to do with this! Both you and Lenalee Lee will be attending this ceremony." I heard the stomping of feet and my doorknob twisted, opening the door only a crack before it was slammed shut again.

"Why are you targeting us?" Lavi asked again.

"Out of my way, bookman!"

"Why are you targeting her?"

The next thing I heard was a loud slapping noise. I gasped, my hands cupping around my mouth. Leverrier had reached a new low.

Every moment I had spent with Leverrier slipped back into my mind right then, all the way from the first time I met him to how he had yelled at me at the hospital. I had no idea why he enjoyed tormenting me so much, let it be play of power or something even more sinister, but the reasons didn't matter right now. He had been after me from beginning - that much I was sure of. I had been his victim as far back as I could remember. Now that Lavi was interfering and stepping in-between Leverrier and myself, he had needlessly become another one of Leverrier's victims. Because he was so kind and helpful, he had gotten himself hurt while protecting me. This knowledge not only filled me with guilt, but also with something else – something much worse. It filled me with _anger_.

Hatred for Leverrier had been there my whole life, out shadowed by fear. Now I felt my fear slip away, replaced by the rage that came when he had dared to hit Lavi. My dizziness vanished and I leapt to my feet immediately, storming to the door, though I didn't know what I intended to do.

I reached for the doorknob and swung the door open, revealing Leverrier standing before Lavi, glaring down at him as he gripped his face where he had just been hit. I balled my fists at my sides and glared up at Leverrier, not holding back as I began to give him my piece of mind.

"You've been after me from the start, Malcolm Leverrier," I began, my voice trembling with not fear, but rather fury. "I don't know why you've continued to bother me after I've agreed to stay in the Order, but that's not what matters right now. If you have a problem with an exorcist, you should confront them about it! Resorting to violence against someone who's on your side will get you no where, and I won't stand for you to hurt someone I care about!" I didn't know quite what to say without getting myself in too much trouble but still getting my point across. I decided I had said enough and fell silent.

Leverrier seemed extremely taken aback by my sudden outburst. Obviously, he had never expected me to stand up to him. He quickly cleared his throat, seeming too shocked to argue. "I'll let you go _this time_, Lenalee Lee. Next time I won't settle for anything less than what I ask for." He turned on his heel and stormed down the hall.

_Author's note – Go Lenalee and Lavi XD_

_Only one more chapter left, guys! _

_ Please review and let me know what you think!_


	9. Conclusion

9

9. I didn't turn back to Lavi until he was gone. His hand was lowered from his face, but he was very red where he had been hit. I reached up, placing my cold hand against his cheek, frowning. "I'm sorry, Lavi."

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked, smirking slightly. "You didn't do anything wrong. Actually, what you did was great. I'm happy you were finally able to stand up for him, even if it's just this once."

I continued to frown, not feeling the excitement that he was. "I didn't do enough, though. After all he's put me through and what he just did to you, I practically said nothing at all!"

"Would he have walked away if it were 'nothing at all'?" Lavi asked, raising his eyebrow. "He seemed pretty shocked that you had spoken up. You should surprise him again and do it more often."

I thought about it for a moment, trying to picture myself standing up to Leverrier again. I wondered if I _could _do it. Just then, I hadn't been thinking about talking back to him, I just had. Leverrier had provoked me. Could I still stand up for myself and the people I cared about, even if I wasn't pushed to the limit? _Did _I have that confidence yet?

Lavi leaned down, looking into my face. "You seem to be deep in thought."

I blinked, looking up at him. "I guess I'm just a little surprised. I mean, I've had this problem with Leverrier for _years_, and suddenly, I was able to stand up for myself. I don't know if I'm more excited or confused!"

He wrapped his arm around me, pushing me back into the room. "Either way, you should go lay down. Your head's bothering you, remember?"

I allowed Lavi to guide me back into the room. I sat on the edge of the bed, looking at my lap, lost in thought again.

"Think we'll get in trouble?" I asked.

"For _what_? Not going to this stupid ceremony? I doubt it."

"I mean for yelling at him. You know, speaking back against authority or whatever."

Lavi rolled his eye, picking up the tray of soup again and sitting next to me on the bed. "I highly doubt it. It wasn't that big of a deal."

"Just a moment ago, you made it seem like it was."

Lavi laughed, a little exasperated. "That's because I'm _proud _of you, Lenalee. I doubt Leverrier really cares one way or another." He stirred the spoon around in the soup, concentrating on what he was saying next. "I think that no matter what you say or what you do, you're always going to be one of Leverrier's victims. That's just how it is. He picks people to target and he attacks them at any chance he has – Allen is like that, too, for him. Guys like him who have too much power feel the need to use it at any chance they have, and bossing around lower ranked people is just one of the ways he does it." He looked back up at me, flashing his reassuring smile. "All you can do is continue to stick up for yourself. It may cause you problems, but you'll feel better that way than constantly allowing him to walk all over you."

He scooped up some of the soup in the spoon and held it out to my mouth. I leaned forward, accepting it. I wasn't sure why I needed soup for my blackouts, but it still tasted good, so I wasn't going to complain.

Lavi placed the bowl in my hands and stood up, looking over at the door. "What the hell's taking Allen so long to get here? Did he make a stop at that ceremony on the way down?" He groaned, reaching for the doorknob. "Maybe he got lost. We don't really know our way around here yet. I should probably go look for hi-"

"No!" I cried suddenly, looking up with a jolt. Lavi turned around, shooting me a curious glance. I looked back down at my lap, feeling a little flustered. "I…I mean, I think it's better if you stay here. The last thing that you need right now is another encounter with Leverrier." I looked over at him, eyeing the spot where Leverrier had hit him moments ago.

Lavi followed my gaze, his hand raising to his cheek, before dropping it once more and rolling his eye at me. "Lenalee, I'm fine. As if one little hit is going to bother me. I need to get you the matron so we can find out what's wrong with you."

"It may be a little hit to you, but it bothers _me _a lot." I kept my gaze anywhere but at him, feeling my cheeks reddening still and my voice shaking a bit. "I feel just _terrible _about it. I hate that you've become one of Leverrier's 'victims' as you call them, just because you were trying to help me!"

Lavi walked away from the door, taking a seat next to me again. I still didn't look his way. "Don't be silly. There was no alternative there. No matter what happens, I'm always going to help you, no matter what."

The sad thing was that I knew he was telling the truth. No matter what happened, ever since Lavi had seen my weakness, he had been there to guide me along, and to help me overcome my fear of Leverrier. More and more, Leverrier began to dislike Lavi, especially after the incident with the level 4 akuma, but that never scared him away. Through it all, Lavi had been there, and I had him to thank for keeping sane through these times. What had I done to deserve him?

I didn't like it. I hated that Lavi was in trouble, too, just because he had been protecting me from Leverrier. I'd rather have had Leverrier hit me a hundred times than to ever have him hurt Lavi. Even if Lavi wasn't bothered by it, I was. I didn't want to cause Lavi pain, not after all he had done for me.

Yet still, I kept him near me. Even though I had known all along that he would be endangering himself being around me, I never told him to leave. There was something about having Lavi there – smiling at me, laughing with me, cheering me on – that I couldn't give up. The feeling of his hand in mine, or his arm around my shoulders – even though I knew it would get him in trouble, he being a bookman and I an exorcist – I never pushed him away, not even once. If there was anyone in the world who could put a smile on my face and chase away the rain clouds that surrounded me, it was Lavi.

It wasn't fair, I knew, to keep him around like that for my own good, even though it was going to hurt him in the long run. I was being greedy. Yet, I just couldn't let go.

Placing my soup bowl on my nightstand, I finally turned back to him, and I was able to send him a natural smile that wasn't forced at all, and it didn't hurt to make it. Watching my smile, he began to return it, seeming even more excited than before. "Thanks, Lavi. Thanks for everything. I don't know what I did to deserve it, but it means a lot to me." I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face into his chest, holding on as tight as I could. I wanted to show him just how grateful I was, to pour out all the emotions I was feeling into this embrace. I wondered if he knew what I was trying to tell him.

He put his arms around me in return, his grip tight around me as he held me close to himself. He rested his cheek on the top of my hair, rocking me slightly as we sat there, holding on to each other.

There was something I was feeling as I leaned my head against his broad shoulders, his large hands brushing through my short hair, and mine holding onto him. It wasn't the first time I had felt it, but because there was so much less on my mind than before, it was a lot more obvious than before. Behind my shut eyes, all I kept seeing was Lavi's grin, his beautiful lopsided smirk. As my hands clung onto him, I knew that I didn't want to ever let go. I felt my heart rate accelerating and my cheeks once again being flooded with heat and color, and I began to open my mouth again, ready to tell him what I was feeling

He responded to what I had said before, interrupting what I was just about to say. "What are friends for?" he asked.

My heart slowed down to its usual pace and my cheeks began cooling off. I felt my grip on him slipping as I slowly pulled out of his embrace.

What had I been expecting, though? Lavi was a bookman. To even say that I was a friend was a _huge _step for him. He wasn't even meant to have friends, let alone anything more.

I smiled again. "Thanks."

"Seriously, though, you should get some more sleep. I'll go find the matron and Allen, and I promise to be careful in the halls. All right?"

I nodded. "Fine."

Just as he was about to sit up and leave, I leaned forward, planting a quick kiss on his cheek. Before he could react, I pulled myself underneath my bed covers.

Lavi smiled back at me before turning and leaving the room. "I'll be back soon, I promise," he whispered as he blew out my candle.

I was alone now. I rolled over, burying my face in my pillow, trying to sort out my confusing thoughts and feelings.

Lavi was a bookman, and calling me his friend was a huge step for him. I was surprised he had even made that. Breaking down the restraints that he has with his job as a bookman was going to take a long time, and I knew that. But thinking about Lavi and his smile, I knew that it was worth it. It didn't matter how long it was going to take, I was going to get close to Lavi, because I knew now that I couldn't let him go.

I didn't blackout next. A real, innocent sleep crept up on me, and I allowed it to take me away, drifting off into a natural unconscious state.

This time, I didn't have any nightmares.

_**Author's notes: **__Thanks everyone so much for reading this story through to the end! I hope you all enjoyed it and were happy with the way it ended! Please review and let me know what you think!_


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